A Tip for Making Shit Happen

There are any number of things you can do to make shit happen – that is to say, to be productive – and one of the major things I’ve learned that is the most helpful is this:

DRESS THE PART

Feeling successful and feeling confident helps you be more productive.

Don’t say, “when I get there [where ever it is you see yourself being when you’re successful] I’ll dress that way,” or

“I don’t have to get all dressed up, I’m not there yet.”

Take every opportunity to BE the person you think about becoming.

When I was working from home one of the things I made sure to do was get up in the morning, take a shower, put work clothes on, and then sit down at my desk in my living room. I wasn’t going to see anyone, or attend any meetings but I felt better, I did more.

Try it with me. Plan your clothes for the next few days. Who do you see when you think about being successful or productive? Are you in our pajama bottoms with a hoodie, or are you in a nice pair of jeans and a trendy sweater, or maybe it’s slacks and a button up shirt? It doesn’t matter if you don’t intend to leave your house – wear the clothes, and let them dictate what you will do for the day.

 


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Success Begins With Imagination

“What is now proved was once only imagined.” – William Blake

My wife thinks “dreaming about things” is nonessential. She’s a doer rather than a dreamer. And I love that about her; we make a great team because sometimes I get far too caught up in the dreaming…

I know a lot of people like my wife: a bit of a skeptic, quick to point out the reality of any situation and even quicker to argue that “hard work is much more valuable than dreams.” I don’t believe hard work is any more valuable, but I’d go as far as to say equally beneficial.

Yes, we need to take action but what action do we take if we don’t know what we want? More simply, what road do we take if we don’t know where we’re going?

1989-RandMcNallyDo you remember those old Rand McNally Road Atlas books that your grandparents would keep in the car for all those boring road trips you’d go on (or maybe you’re too young – if you are, they were what we had before GPS)?

If my grandparents and I were going somewhere my grandpa would insist that I tell him what roads he needed, so I had to learn how to read one early on. He’d say, “we’re going to make our first stop in Medford, [OR] – tell me how to get there,” and he’d point to where we were on the Washington State Map, “we’re here. Now, show me you know where we’re going.” I’d have to open to the state of Oregon and point to Medford so he knew that I knew.  

lfa_statemapLIFE IS LIKE THAT! “Imagination, (or dreaming), is the equivalent of a modern day GPS; it tells you where to go, based on the knowledge of where you want to end up.” (Tweet This)

Believing in your imagination, and dreaming about who, or what you want to be, helps counter the doubt too!

why?I highly doubt Walt Disney ever said things like, “that’s not reality,” or “that will never happen,” or “that’s not how the world works.” He’d say, “Why not?”

When Russell Wilson was interviewed prior to his second appearance in back to back Superbowl’s, he asked his team, “Why not us?” Which soon became a team slogan used by many of the team’s fans. 

“You see things; and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream of things that never were; and say ‘Why not?'” – George Bernard Shaw

Wilson and Disney were not born with magical powers. Neither was Michael Jordan, or Madonna, or even Steve Jobs. They easily, and often times let their imagination run wild. 

Do it today – let yourself IMAGINE. Tell the universe what you want and then, when you know what you want…get to work. 

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Why? Image, is used courtesy of the photographer: Art Poskanzer

Transparency Tuesday: I Don’t Like People!

Preface: Transparency Tuesday is a new concept I’d like to experiment with here on the blog. Each Tuesday my post will be about an issue I’m dealing with in my life, on a personal level. Whether it’s about the business I have (finding influencers, the struggle with giving things away for nothing, going “bankrupt” the first 3 months I was in business, etc), or my own personal issues surrounding love, life and being a mom. Please be kind. The only way we’re going to make change happen is when we’re honest with ourselves.

Now without further ado…. my very first #TransparencyTuesday….


What is holding you back?”

I have been asking myself that same question for what feels like more than half of my life. Since I was young I’ve been in pursuit of a higher plane of existence –  I’ve had an urge to live an unconventional life: doing purposeful things, making good money, and being happy. I’ve never wanted to just existBut for some reason, something stops me from breaking through the barrier.

Today, when I asked that elusive question I was really honest with myself, and the answer I had was this:

I have a distaste for people. . . which, is predicated on my expectations of them. (Tweet This)

Now that’s probably hard to hear from someone who claims to want to help you better your life right? Trust me, I struggle with the reality of my answer… that’s why I’m calling this Transparency Tuesday, but stick with me… it gets better. I promise.

People, in general, frustrate me. They upset me with how selfish they seem (and I’m talking about on a macro and micro level). I feel like people are selfish, egocentric and self-involved. They do what they want regardless of other people. And if we’re talking about the general public, I feel 90% of them are inconsiderate, and unaware of their surroundings. But why do I feel that way?

My goal in life is to help people achieve their goals and yet I can’t seem to like most of the human race, even 50% of the time. Now, I’m not an ogre or a judgemental asshole;

I don’t like people because I’ve let too many people treat me poorly.

And, I’ve let my emotions rule me when it comes to things they’ve done. Some people might not be offended by 70% of the things that happen to them – or around them – but not me, I take things very personally.

I’ve allowed this pattern in my life. I ‘ve allowed people to tell me one thing and then do another. I’ve allowed people to get away with things that affect me negatively because I usually talk myself out of my own feelings (until they resurface at a later date and are usually 10X stronger). I have been conditioned to believe that at some point, it was my fault and even if it’s a very minute contribution; I’m always partially to blame.

Feeling partial to blame, dilutes the impulse to be right. (Tweet This)

This is reinforced further by my need to please people. I want people to be proud of me. Sometimes it feels like a job, but in making that the emphasis – I’ve allowed myself to become different people in order to please whoever I’m spending time with. They will be proud of the person THEY see, not the person I AM.  The resentment I feel because of the ache to be myself is unbounded.

A friend of mine said something to me in a conversation before my birthday (which was in January – so yes, two months thinking about this). We were discussing what to wear when we went out. I asked her what her husband would think of the outfit she chose and she said, “I don’t dress for him; I dress for me.”

When I aim to please people, I become expectant of their reaction (I dress for them, not for me). When I expect a reaction from someone and they don’t deliver I’m upset not just in the fact that they didn’t respond but that I had “expected more from them.” When I expect more and am repeatedly let down the resentment settles in, and the final result:

I dislike all people, not just those I feel have hurt me.

Man, do I have some work to do!

Now it’s your turn: “what’s holding you back?” Are you ready to answer that question honestly?